Almost-Mother

My life is in limbo. I’m skirting the boundary before becoming a mother. The baby inside of me is preparing to make his appearance any time. In-between can be a hard place sometimes. Big change is almost here, but not here yet. I’m lingering on the edge of the unknown. In the face of the unknown, all I can do is try to diminish the fear. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

I just read this article and it really resonated with me. Even though life is confusing for me right now, I can feel the power in my body, which is a healthy body and ready to welcome another spirit to this beautiful earth. I can feel love for this tiny life inside me who is developing rapidly in anticipation of something that is entirely unknown to him–earth life. I can feel love and gratitude for an incredible husband who is ready to do whatever he can to help me and comfort me. Yesterday, as we were eating dinner with some friends, one of the women there mentioned the importance of having a team to help you while you labor. Devon’s immediate response was, “I will assemble them myself!” I’m so grateful to be married to a man who loves me so much that he leaves the air conditioning on all night so that I’ll be comfortable.

And I can have a sound mind. I don’t need to fear or be frazzled because I have the Lord on my side. I can pray and read my scriptures and know that whatever happens will be for the best and in at most a month from now, there will be a tiny human in my arms instead of my belly.

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