What is a date, anyway?

It’s hard to go on dates when you have a baby. The last several months we have hardly gone on any dates by the traditional definition. Boy+girl+something to eat+interesting conversation+going out. or something.

Our dates look more like this:

We put Arthur to bed at 7:00 and finally eat our dinner.

Tired conversations.

“Anything good on Netflix?”


“Oh wait, we haven’t seen that last episode of Sherlock.

“Oh yeah. Let’s watch that. We can watch while we clean the kitchen.”

“I’ll make cookies.”

It’s fun, but sometimes feels like laziness. Staring at a screen in the vicinity of the one you love. Romantic huh? But something different happened this last Friday.

It wasn’t the actual events of the date that were different. We made a treat and watched a movie on Netflix (The Croods). It wasn’t even a particularly incredible movie. But as I was debating what to bake for our treat. Devon piped up and suggested that he go to the store and buy some ice cream to go with it. A little tub of ice cream may not seem like very much, but it was out of the ordinary. We don’t buy ice cream every week or even every month. It made me feel all warm and tingly that Devon would hop in our car after a long day and drive to the store to buy us ice cream. It turned out to be an awesome date. Why? I think the answer was in the ice cream. I’m not saying that ice cream itself always makes for an awesome date. (Even though it’s true.) Rather, it’s the intent. Devon did something to make the date special. He showed me that he was thinking about me and that date night is about cherishing each other. It was a lesson I needed to learn. Just a little bit of effort can change everything.

So, what is a date anyway? I think a date, for married people, is a reminder that your relationship is so important. It is a reminder to cherish your spouse and an opportunity to make a special effort on a weekly basis to let your spouse know how important they are to you. Date night isn’t dinner and a movie, or exciting, expensive adventures. It’s a breath of fresh air and a chance to refocus on the relationship you hold the most dear.

We might be doing low-key, at-home dates for a while, but I hope we can keep really dating each other. I hope that I can remember to keep our dates dates and to keep reminding my husband how much I love him.

What is dating to you? What was your best date and why?


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