This morning, after I put Lucy down for a nap, after we had gone on a run and played at the park, Arthur and I were home together. We danced together and chatted and tickled and then we eased apart. I started washing some dishes and finishing bread baking and he started playing with his cars.
These moments of fluidity between togetherness and independence are the most beautiful moments of motherhood–when we can play and work without nagging or saying “no.” I can clean and work and think. Arthur can have ownership of his own time and his own imagination and still know that I am there, that I love him, and enjoy being with him.
This is the relationship I want to have with my children. I want a relationship where I don’t feel guilty about spending time washing dishes and I don’t feel stressed about needing to clean my house when I play with my kids. I’m striving for balance and flow and I think we are making improvements or at least baby steps.