Uncertainty feels like a prickly thing–a spiny cactus. It feels threatening. Anticipation throws me into a spiral of what-ifs. In an attempt at control, I try to map each possible outcome, placing extra emphasis on the worst ones. It feels like grasping at the edge of a cliff, while rocks crumble between my fingertips.
I have to be in control. I have to have a plan. The weight of responsibility overwhelms me.
Recently, I’ve learned that panicked ad frantic planning is not the only approach to uncertainty. If my kids are going to have trouble falling asleep because of something or other, they will have trouble whether or not I stress about it. The best I can do is make good decisions based on the information I have and then not worry about the rest. All I can do is my best. So why am I adding stress to my life? There is a difference between preparedness and unnecessary stress.
I have not mastered this. But, I’m trying to let the chips fall and enjoy the moment instead of stressing about what is coming next. I can’t let the future rob me of the present.